He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Your tits are I can't wait for
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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