Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this just has baby written all over it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
