Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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