i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
