Its about making memories worth repressing
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
