she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
