fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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