Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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