We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
