i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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