We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
