I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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