My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
