Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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