he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
