Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
