if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
