whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
