I'm so fucking centered right now
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
