Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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