Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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