you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
