Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
