i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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