definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
