Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
