Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
