I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
