My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
