i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
