Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was like giving head to a cactus.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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