that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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