Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize