her vagina looked like bernie madoff
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
