the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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