I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
