I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
