his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize