Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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