Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
