Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dick very happy bro
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
