My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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