people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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