I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
PANTIES FOUND
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