well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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