My hand turned me down
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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