dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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