It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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