OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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