You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
