someone get that fucking seahorse.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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