Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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