your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
