there was a trapeze. enough said
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
