i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
