Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
