Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
