this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
