Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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