I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
