So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
