after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize